One of the modern-day inventions that i thank God for is contraceptives. I think both women and men deserve to enjoy and explore their sexuality without always worrying about the risk of pregnancy. Contraceptives create that equality. The reduced risk of pregnancy every time a woman engages in sexual activity allows women to pursue their social and economic goals while enjoying sex. What an invention!

However, myths about contraceptives remain to be one of the greatest impediments to access to contraceptives for women in Kenya. I have had two conversations with men about what they think of a woman who uses contraceptives.

Man 1: “If a woman can face the risk of pregnancy and still dare to be sexually active, imagine how promiscuous they will be if they have a contraceptive method that prevents them from getting pregnant as they have sex. ” According to this man, pregnancy is a natural self-control mechanism that is meant to regulate women from hypersexuality.

Man 2: ” Women these days don’t even worry about getting diseases, all they fear for is pregnancy. Once that is sorted out they go around sleeping with everyone without breaks. They don’t even insist on condoms any more” This is a man who feels very aggrieved that women no longer exist in fear of pregnancy. He is also very agitated that when he suggests the use/ non use of a condom, a woman will not be at his mercy pleading that he saves her life by kindly agreeing to use a condom to prevent a pregnancy.

Here are my two cents on men like the ones I’ve highlighted above who think that women who use contraceptives are promiscuous:

a) I think there are men who like having toxic power over women. This man essentially wants the power to determine when a woman gets pregnant. When they realize that power has been taken away and now this woman can exercise agency and have her bodily autonomy back, their world is rocked. Their little ‘power play’ game can no longer work and therefore they are utterly aggrieved.

b) Second, I think that women’s use of contraceptives decreases some ill motivated men’s avenues for evil deeds. Brethren, verily, verily I tell you, human beings with ill motives walk among us. Recently, a man on twitter admitted to have connived to ‘get her woman pregnant despite being well aware that she was a medicine student in order to keep her for life.’ The link on the twitter thread is here. There are male human beings who in their narcissistic minds actually want to get a woman pregnant just to have them wrapped around their little finger. The term for it is reproductive abuse. Such men’s joy would be to keep up difficult co-parenting games with a woman, dragged court cases and other drama that keeps a woman around them even when the woman is suffering. But thankfully, contraceptives exist and women can free themselves from the snare of such men.

Men, when you get a woman who uses contraceptives, that is a woman I think you should keep. One, she clearly cares about her well-being which is why she took that extra step to determine when to get children. If anything, you become a beneficiary of her use of contraceptives by not having to worry about whether or not she will get pregnant. Jackpot if you ask me.

Forget the myth. And might I add, some celibate women are on long-term contraceptive methods e.g., implants and IUD.

What are your thoughts on the myth that a woman who uses contraceptives is promiscuous?

I would like to hear your thoughts.

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Immaculate Were.

6th February, 2023.

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